I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
