This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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