He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
