I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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