Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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