I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
