Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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