glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
