You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
