Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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