My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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