Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize