Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you would pick up someone in the library
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
