What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
