that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
