your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
