So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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