Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
