We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
