Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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