Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
