I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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