dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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