I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
