Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
