you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
