Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
