My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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