I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
