I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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