i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
