whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
