we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
