Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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