I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
