also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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