Your tits are I can't wait for
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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