just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
