dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize