you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we're making bets on your personal life
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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