Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
