If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
