So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
