I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The adults are the big ones right?
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