I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
