Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
