How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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