Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
