I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
