I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize