Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cut my penus on the lid.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
