i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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