She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
