Fuck appropriateness.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
