is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
