And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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