I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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