I got chris browned last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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