Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
