kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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