so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Buhtt sex?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize