so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
