Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
