You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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