You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
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it was like getting a handjob from robocop
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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