Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
