i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
